Of course, millions of people suffer from insomnia. It just seems that people with HFA suffer from it a disproportionately large amount from NT (neuro-typical) people.
Imagine if you will going throughout your normal day, but it happens to be a high stress day. Pretty much from the time you wake up, to the time you go to sleep. Then, you lay down in your bed, exhausted, except your mind relives every second of the day. Then it relives the other day, last week, that one time in the 7th grade when you spilled soda on your lap, what you should've said to that rude lady at the store, etc. etc.
You're scared of the dark, so you have your own coping mechanisms. I personally sleep with the TV on. I'm not "scared of the dark" like a kid would be, but the dark/silence makes the thoughts in my head so much louder that I have panic attacks, so I drown it out with the TV on low in the background. Takes care of both the dark and the noise. I've been sleeping like this since I was about 15. I also have to sleep with a loud fan running for white noise. White noise machines or a loud fan might save your/your HFA child's sanity.
The longer you lay there awake, the more you stress. The more you get anxious about things you can't control. Something minor that bothered you during the day replays in your mind over and over. And over. And over. And over....
You get out of bed and pace to clear your mind. You pick up a book to divert your thoughts. If you're a child you might grab a toy or a book or a stuffed animal. My son talks to himself or sings to himself. Maybe you tap on the wall. Anything to ease the chaos in your mind.
Then you realize you've been laying in bed for awhile now. You have to get up at 6 in the morning. You avoid looking at your phone/clock to check the time because you know that so much time has passed that you're running out of time to sleep
Eventually you do fall asleep. It could be hours after you go to bed. Last night, I slept for about 30 minutes myself, despite sleeping pills. Once asleep, you have crazy vivid dreams that often wake you. A lot of times they're nightmares. This makes sleeping the next night even more trying because you then start to fear the dreams/nightmares.
But instead of this happening once, it happens every. Single. Night.
So what can be done?
No right answer. Finding a happy medium for your child or yourself is a time consuming and labor intensive process. With my HFA son, instilling a "you have to stay in bed" rule helped a lot. He sleeps better now that he's getting older, but when he was younger he stayed up for hours at night, then was terribly behaved the next day. So we told him that even if he stayed up, he had to stay in his bed. Made it at least easier to get some peace of mind at night. We never gave him any sleeping medications, except clonidine (sp?) because because a psychiatrist recommended it. It didn't work so we took him off it. We never did melatonin because I didn't want to possibly mess with his body's natural production of it.
The one thing I will say is that a schedule helps. My son napped until the age of 4 (my mom made me nap until 5), no matter how much he hated it, because of his poor sleeping habits at night. He always had a strict, early bedtime. He would get up at around 7, nap at noon, then go to bed at 7. It took about a year for this routine to set but once it started sticking, it was a LIFE SAVER. Letting your kid just stay up and out of bed late simply because he has sleeping issues will only perpetuate the problem because an overtired kid will sleep worse, not better.
Insomnia will probably never go away. Your childs sleeping habits will evolve with age, but there will probably always be a problem with it in some capacity. As an adult, it kills me because I have a baby and a toddler. Thirty minutes of sleep does not a happy mommy make. I have taken prescription sleeping medications in the past, but they made me sleep TOO much. Ambien made me high, then sleep for 18-20 hours, then it eventually stopped working at all. Lunesta worked okay, but it made everything taste weird. Melatonin works...okay. Its definitely not a cure. And even sleeping pills are hit and miss. I started drinking in my early 20's to help me sleep. If you're a teen or an adult that would be willing to try this....don't. Becoming addicted to alcohol is NOT worth the sleep. Or the hangover. I don't drink anymore. There's more to that story than just sleep, but suffice to say...just...don't try that.
Night time regards -
April
