But while I remember, I'm going to do a post on your child repeating words. This does not cross over to repetitive behavior. This is exclusively repeating things over and over.
I think one of the biggest things that we figured out about my sons problem with repetition was WHY he repeated himself. Knowing why helps you head off the problem.
Now, to be clear, my son isn't "cured" of his repetition. His repetition is manageable. Its not so bad that he doesn't function normally. Its more of a "he's eight and gets excitable" kind of repetition. And all bets are off if he thought something was hilarious or he gets super excited (you know how many times I heard, "Hey, we're going to Six Flags next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" last year?? *twitch twitch*).
We started working on the exceptionally annoying repetition around four, after dealing with it all through the three's thinking it was just age appropriate. At some point it became clear it was no longer age appropriate.
So...lets delve into some reasons WHY your child may repeat him/herself.
1. They didn't think you heard them. Except an NT (neuro typical) person can usually tell whether or not you heard them, regardless of if they don't respond. We figured out that my son actually didn't know that a person does not have to answer EVERY. SINGLE. THING. YOU. SAY. Now follow me on this. Your HFA child is sitting in the back seat of your car and says, "Hey, a bus." But as an NT person, you know that thats not something typically you HAVE to acknowledge. Its not like he asked a question. Of course you can say "Yeah, a bus" but its not necessary. So in this particular instance, you choose to not acknowledge for whatever reason. Unfortunately, your child thinks that everything he says requires you to answer. So he says it again. And again. And again. So the first thing you can start with is: Does your child stop when you acknowledge it? If so, you may have to have a serious conversation (or 50) about how not everything a person says requires an answer. Acting it out with one or more people can be extremely helpful in this instance. Not sure? Try it out. You might be surprised.
2. Your child has a LOT going on in his/her head. Sometimes repetition is a form of stimming. They have something going on in their mind that they're absolutely stuck on. A lot of times this will be a more quiet repetition that is getting out some of the craziness in the mind. A good way to handle this kind of repetition is to get the child talking. What are they saying? Why are they saying it? Are they happy, anxious, excited, scared? Sometimes getting them out of that glitchy mode will help stop it. This kind of repetition will be harder to break because its coming out in the form of a coping mechanism. If your child can write, writing about what they're thinking can help sort their thoughts. Perhaps finding something to do with their hands, reading, drawing, anything that can help them quiet their disorganized thoughts may help. Reminding them that you can hear them and sometimes thats not appropriate will be a conversation you have to have. If your child is doing this a lot, or is coupling this with more stimming behaviors, they may need more extensive intervention from a professional. Always follow your instincts on whats best for your child.
This is more anecdotal than a "reason" but its just something I dealt with personally. When I was young, I used to say something, then quietly repeat myself, like an echo. I started doing it around 4-5 years old. My mom pointed it out one day and I never realized I did it. When I realized it, I tried to stop it but it was VERY HARD (like, I'd say three things and by the third sentence I'd catch myself doing it). Looking back, I think I was doing it for two reasons: One, I was repeating myself to see if I'd said something right. I was like...hitting rewind in my head but it was coming out of my mouth. Second, I had a terrible memory and I was repeating myself in an attempt to commit it to memory. It wasn't always both, it could be one or the other. But it was almost like a glitch. As mean as it sounds, my mom started mimicking me, pointing it out, which made me want to not do that. If your child does something similar to this, or has a tendency to do it with particular words or phrases, this one will be a little harder. I think that I both grew out of it and I began to realize that other people can't hear what I'm thinking. This is actually a legitimate problem for some kids. You may have to tell your child that sometimes things have to stay inside their heads, not be said out loud. This will take a long time and may never be fully broken. Working on memory is important (enough that I'm dedicating a post to it) and explaining to a child that you can think about something BEFORE they say it is better than blurting it out and thinking about it later.
My son in particular had a combination of these problems. First, the first one. Once we established that, then it became the problem that he couldn't just keep it all in. His scattered thoughts would just come out in the form of something that he'd repeat over and over. In this case we'd say, "Conner, one time." Concise, consistent reminders. He also had to have the whole, "Sometimes things have to stay inside your head" spiel.
Example:
"Mom come here. Mom, come here."
"Conner, one time."
"But I need you."
"I heard you the first time Conner, give me a second."
It took years, seriously, and it seems simplistic. But he's gotten it pretty much under control. If your child suffers from repeating himself, it will be a long road, and everyone will travel that road at a different speed. I firmly believe that every HFA person will have one or two (or more) quirks that will be a challenge for them for the duration of their lives. This very well could be one of your childs'. Never stop working on it, but be prepared. You never know when the switch will flip (thats the only way I can describe how it feels to finally "get" something as a person with HFA) and they'll suddenly stop a certain behavior. I think a lot of it comes with maturity and whatever speed that may be.
Regards -
April
